Seeds of Goodness

sunflower seedDo not be fooled: You cannot cheat God. People harvest only what they plant.  If they plant to satisfy their sinful selves, their sinful selves will bring them ruin. But if they plant to please the Spirit, they will receive eternal life from the Spirit.  We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time if we do not give up.  When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers. Galatians 6:7-10 (NCV)

I enjoy my flower garden. I watch with concern as the winds contort my plants during summer tall flowers 1thunderstorms. I feel deep gratification as I watch birds and butterflies peck at the seeds and sip the nectar. I enjoy the beauty of the color palate set on the backdrop of green.

This year I planted sunflowers. The little seeds I plated this spring did not disappoint. Those little seeds sprouted quickly and grew dramatically. I chronicled the growth in a series of pictures, amazingly, taken in two-week intervals. These big, tall plants that offer shade for our home, a shelter for the birds and will feed many hungry beaks in the days to come—started from a little seed.

tall flowers 2Paul wrote about an inescapable truth—what you sow is what you reap. I wasn’t surprised when sunflowers sprouted from that handful of seeds. It’s not what is growing in the back yard that amazes me, it’s the size.

Avoid the trap of thinking that only big things matter. Small selfish deeds take root and grow into a life of ruin. Little deeds and attitudes grow into a way of life and Paul writes those little things can lead to a life of ruin.

This passage is not a passage of warning. It’s a passage of encouragement.tall flowers 3

Do you feel like small acts of goodness don’t really matter? If you do, you’re wrong. Do you feel like the small acts of kindness don’t make a dent in the evil that permeates the world? Change your thinking.

Plant some seeds of goodness and kindness. You’ll be amazed at what will grow from a single, tiny seed. The single seeds I planted a few months ago are about to mature into flowers with hundreds of seeds. Wait for the growth. Trust God to care for your harvest—you may not see your full harvest in this life. Don’t be fooled there is a harvest for those who don’t give up.

tall flowersBe encouraged today by the tiny seed—let it remind you the smallest act of goodness can yield a huge harvest.

Father, encourage my tired heart today. When it’s easier for me to neglect an act of goodness, remind me of the harvest that comes from one little seed. I surrender the final harvest into Your care. Give me the strength and courage to plant small seeds to goodness today.

Seed image courtesy of Bing.com/images

Sorry or “Sorry”

sad macDistress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.

And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart. And that is what I was hoping for in the first place when I wrote the letter.   2 Corinthians 7:10-11 (MSG)

During a leadership workshop, the speaker emphasized how vital it is for leaders to admit openly when they have made a mistake. His assertion was sound—you know you’ve made a mistake and everyone around you knows you’ve made a mistake—if you blame or excuse the behavior you stand to lose credibility with the staff.  That wasn’t news to me. I’ve become more apt to admit my mistakes as I’ve become more mature.

What I found profound were his next statements. He stressed how you admitted your mistake was as important as admitting it. He asked us to think about the admission, “I’m sorry.” compared to the statement, “I apologize.” The word sorry can mean regretful, but it can also mean wretched—as in “a sorry mess.”   That struck home with me.

It’s a matter of semantics—why quibble over words? As a leader, one may need to be apologetic but one should never wretched—be quick to apologize but never be sorry.

During this final look at God’s attention getting device of distress or Godly sorrow, let me ask you this—does the pain of sin make you sorry or sorry? One is repentance—the other is misery. Paul made the distinction between Godly sorrow that leads to repentance and sorrow that drives one away from God.

You may know someone who is unable to admit his sin. You may know someone who is so ashamed of what she did she won’t come to God for forgiveness.   Perhaps the sin and its consequences were so “bad” the person was swallowed up and made the choice to stay in the proverbial whale’s belly.  The truth of this passage today is; regret and remorse that is sorry is simply that—wretched.   It’s the wallowing kind of sorrow that never ends and bitters over time.

The distress, the twinge, the pain you feel a when you realize you’ve sinned has one purpose, to change your behavior—to draw your attention back to a loving God who is willing to change your sorry state into one of freedom and purpose.

Don’t settle for just sorry. Turn around—let Godly distress lead you to recovery and restoration.

Father, never let me be content with the sin of my sin or the misery of my guilt. Teach me to run to You quickly, often and with a humble spirit. Let my distress drive me to Your loving, forgiving arms. Thank You for Your love.

(The image today is courtesy of my neighbor, Bryan.  Thanks Bryan, for capturing this great sorry moment – - Bad, Mack, bad!!)

Cruel to be Kind

shotI know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don’t feel at all bad now that I see how it turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while. Now I’m glad—not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God?   2 Corinthians 7:8-11 (MSG)

As a nurse, I regularly inflict pain upon my patients. I think that is why nurses have such a warped sense of humor. Without making what we do into a joke of some sick sort, it would be difficult to cope with the “job” we do.

It’s also why, generally, nurses are characterized as callous. My poor husband expected babying and coddling during his illnesses—one should never expect that from nurse! Terry thought he was marrying his own private-duty nurse. Instead, he married the more typical nurse who tells him to get up, walk it off and reminds him that his cold is not terminal, his broken bone will mend and unless he can’t breathe at all—he’ll pull through.

As a nurse, it’s my job to help a sick patient regain good health. To accomplish that we, in health care, use needles, dressing changes, physical therapy, deep breathing and coughing after surgery, and surgery itself. None of those things really feels good, but used properly; each plays an important role in healing. In fact, some treatments, on a temporary basis, hurt worse than the affliction—but in the end, restored health perpetuates the Florence Nightingale image.

Expanding on yesterday’s attention-getting topic of pain, it’s clear, Paul realized his letter caused some pain to the out-of-line Corinthians. Only 2 of Paul’s letters are recorded—he wrote at least 4 to this unruly bunch of believers. Scripture doesn’t record what Paul wrote, but only Paul’s response to his letter.

It bothered him to write his apparently scolding letter. His letter was jolting to the new believers. Paul’s letter accomplished its goal—it changed the behavior of this new church.

This passage is reminiscent of Proverbs 27:6:

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. (NLT)

This passage is a reminder, sometimes reprimands are necessary. If you find yourself in the “reprimanding” role, notice Paul’s attitude. It’s one of sincere concern for the well-being of the church. Paul was not happy to crush or scold this group of believers just because he held the authority that allowed him that privilege.

Paul was pensive, knowing scolding—even with the best intentions and even when deserved—can turn a heart away from God. He rejoiced when his partner, Titus, brought the good news of the church’s repentance back to Paul. Paul’s heart rejoiced in the fact the repentant Corinthians had a deeper understanding and a closer relationship with God.

Father, give me the boldness to correct those who stray away from Your truth. Help me to be bold but keep my motives pure. Keep my focus on the changed heart and increased love for You, not my own agenda or my pride. Let my wounds be faithful, loving and ultimately healing.

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OUCH! That Hurts!

painDistress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. 2 Corinthians 7:10 (MSG)

What kind of a nurse would I be if I didn’t write about the attention-getting device of pain? So, for the last days of this month; let’s look at the greatest attention-getter—pain.

Before we get to the spiritual part of this post, let’s consider physical pain. Pain is something everyone tries to avoid. Companies make millions of dollars selling items and potions to help one avoid or relieve pain. I have all sorts of pads, pills, ointments, lozenges, and bandages to alleviate my pain.

The best pain is avoided pain—I have things to take care of that as well. In fact, I will go out of my way to avoid pain. How about you?

As bad as pain is and as much as we try to avoid it, pain does serve a purpose. Pain indicates something is wrong.  That aching joint or muscle, the twinge in your belly, the throb in your head—all those attention-getters are letting you know something is overused, being used improperly or malfunctioning.

People who lack the ability to perceive pain must live a life of heightened diligence. Pain causes you to stop doing harmful things. Without that sensation; you over tax your body, you don’t recoil from dangerous situations, wounds become infected and simple tasks become life threatening.

Pain whispers or shouts, depending on the intensity, “Notice me! Something is wrong! Stop what you’re doing! Do something different!” Pain is the attention-getter that should drive you to seek a remedy.

Pain that doesn’t drive you to a remedy, is only painful and miserable. Never forget that truth.

Paul writes about that in his letter to the new Christians in Corinth.

I will not tell you God causes pain in an effort to get your attention. Not now, anyway—there is a day of punishment God warns of—but now God draws fallen humanity to Him with kindness.  I will tell you, God is sovereign and can use whatever method He chooses to work in the lives of the people He created. When it comes to pain, I will tell you what I’ve experienced.

God didn’t have to inflict pain on me to get my attention—I did a fine job of that on my own.

Sin carries painful consequences, not the least of which is separation from the loving Father who created you. If you search scripture, you’ll find many instances of individuals and groups suffering pain. I don’t think you’ll find an instance where God caused the pain directly. Humanity suffers spiritual pain as the consequence of disobedience.

The pain caused by the broken relationship between God and humanity—also known as sin—is what should turn the heat back to God.

If you have some spiritual pain, a gnawing, emptiness, uneasiness, guilt—call it what you will—that awareness is trying to get your attention and turn your heart to a God who holds the remedy for your pain.

When pain drives you to a remedy—pain is useful and beneficial. You don’t regret taking an aspirin when your headache is gone. You won’t regret coming to Your loving Father for forgiveness once the burden of sin is gone.

Father, thank You for the promise of forgiveness and relief when I come to You in repentance. I will let my pain drive me to You and the remedy You provided by the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus. Forgive me, heal my sin-sick soul.

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Dozing and Dissipation

dissipationBut make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about! Romans 13:11-14 (MSG)

The fire alarm rang out with the ear piercing—BUZZ—BUZZ—BUZZ. We all left our desks and went outside. Since fire drills were a regular occurrence and since no one smelled smoke, this proved to be a delightful diversion from algebra class.

There was something different about today’s drill. The alarm didn’t stop buzzing. The obnoxious triplet kept sounding long after everyone was out of the building. It was oddly warm for December. In Iowa regardless of how mild the winter, December is cold. Instead of feeling cold as I exited the building, I was strangely warm. Perhaps there was a fire after all. Although, people surrounded me, I recognized only a few. That was odd as well, since I at least recognized everyone in school.

I stood outside the school, looking at the building, looking at the strange crowd, trying to put all of the pieces together, listening to the nonstop BUZZ—BUZZ—BUZZ. Then, in a rush, it came to me.

IT WAS MY ALARM CLOCK not my high school fire alarm! I was snuggly tucked in my warm bed, oversleeping. I was no longer in high school—I was late for work! There was no time for coffee, a shower, or the usual primping. I only had time for the absolute necessities—clothes, mascara, deodorant, and tooth paste. All the other things—caffeine, food, and makeup, would come later, if at all. I needed to get moving!

If you can’t tell from the last few posts, I’m feeling pressured by time and the calendar. As I read this passage, “doze off” and “dissipation” caught my eye.

I want my time to count. I want my efforts to matter. I don’t want to live my life asleep, oversleeping, missing an opportunity or dozing when God has something for me to accomplish.

It’s easy for me to “doze” through a day—just going through the motions. Living my life, as this passage says, “absorbed and exhausted” with and by the ho-hum and ordinary. God wants me awake—not dreaming. God wants me alert to His agenda.

Dissipation—it’s one of my favorite words. It’s not commonly used in everyday conversations. In fact, I hear it most frequently in the weather forecast—fog and clouds dissipate—they scatter or evaporate. Current in an open circuit dissipates—it gives no light, no current, no energy to the system. Dissipation is a lot of activity with no tangible outcome—wasting by misuse—is one definition.

Get up! Get dressed! Get ready! God has something going on today. He wants you and me to be active participants in His plan. If you aren’t sure what your role is, take a moment and ask Him to reveal it to you and then get ready to act!  God wants us “up and about!”

Father, clam my mind and spirit today and tune my heart to Your plan for me. Help me ignore all the distractions, and the counterfeit—the things that would dissipate my energy and attention. Give me eyes only for Your activity. Give me ears to hear Your call. Give me strength to carry out Your plan.

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The Clock is Still Ticking

Now, if we can only keep a firm grip on this bold confidence, we’re the house! That’s why the Holy Spirit says, Today, please listen; don’t turn a deaf ear as in “the bitter uprising,” that time of wilderness testing! Even though they watched me at work for forty years, your ancestors refused to let me do it my way; over and over they tried my patience. And I was provoked, oh, so provoked! I said, “They’ll never keep their minds on God; they refuse to walk down my road.” Exasperated, I vowed, “They’ll never get where they’re going, never be able to sit down and rest.” So watch your step, friends. Make sure there’s no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. For as long as it’s still God’s Today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn’t slow down your reflexes. If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we’re in this with Christ for the long haul. Hebrews 3:6-14 (MSG)

I’m patiently waiting for the delivery man to make his delivery. Considering the delivery was originally scheduled for 2 weeks ago, I’m quite relaxed. While I’m here, waiting, I’m thinking of all the things I need to do and accomplish. Once again, today, “The Clock is Ticking!”

As my mind races and my patience grows thin, I’m reminded to focus on today. The book of Hebrews, written to Jewish converts to Christianity is rich with Old Testament imagery and references. Today’s passage is a good reminder to focus on God’s call for me TODAY. Especially convicting for me are God’s words,

”They’ll never keep their minds on God; they refuse to walk down My road.”

As God tries to get my attention today, He’s met with, “But it’s the weekend—we are on holiday.” “I have these things I need to get done.” and “Why can’t that wait.” I spend a a lot of time telling God why I should go down my road.

Today…today…today—God is a God of today. While the past and future can consume and bewilder me, God offers rest, peace, assurance, and strength for the long haul, today. Let God have your full attention, today. Let God use YOU to be His attention getter, today.

Father, thank You that when my heart and mind want to run ahead of You—You draw my attention back to today. Teach me the benefit of a today kind of mindset. Keep my attention fixed on You.

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The Clock is Ticking

little melittle me 81

 

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.

Psalm 90:12 (NLT)

 

My mom and I suffered from the same disease—advanced maternal age. My mom was forty-two when I was born. Had I carried our baby to term, I would have been forty-one when our little bundle arrived.   As a child, I was painfully aware that my parents were “old.” My friends had young, hip parents. Mine? My parents were the age of my friend’s grandparents.

I lived my young life frightened, sometimes panicked, that my parents were about to drop dead of old age. They didn’t—I was in my late forties when my parents died. Still I grew up painfully aware of the calendar. Time is limited. The awareness I learned as a child spills over into my adult life. I often chide Terry when I’m in a hurry and he seems to be lollygagging. “The clock’s ticking!” I remind him in a not-so-pleasant tone. The translation of that phrase is, “HURRY UP!”

The calendars and clocks are attention getting devices God uses.  My friend quoted her mom just yesterday as she referred to parenting and children, “Long days and short years.” If you are young, you may not understand why people older than you exclaim, “It’s all ready July 25th!” I scoffed when I was younger as my elders talked about time passing faster. Now I understand—I’m in my fifties(!), Christmas is five months away, I have things to accomplish and, “The clock’s ticking!”

I don’t think God draws our attention to time to make us hurry, or to live a life driven by time and accomplishments. I think it’s to make us prioritize our activities. I think it’s to remind us that no matter how skilled we are at living our lives, if we want life to count, we have to acknowledge our need of a Savior. I think it’s to remind us how truly out of control we are. Truly, God is powerful and mysterious. Truly, we are weak, frail and helpless. What juxtaposition; Our Great God and our feeble selves.

What day doesn’t require His grace and protection? What endeavor doesn’t require His gift of skill? Typically, you work hard to make sure things go the way they should each day. Plans are made, schedules arranged, the day is orchestrated to play out as you see fit. Most days go pretty much as planned – give or take a few minor adjustments.   Those days lull you into thinking that your accomplishments are your own.

Then you turn on the TV and see lives that earlier in the day were as orchestrated as yours, devastated in a moment. Recently, the evening news has been packed with tragedy—it seems more than usual.

Pray that God will bring His greatness and your need of Him EVERY second into focus. The great, eternal God of the universe wants to be intimately involved in your life. You need Him. You are weak, helpless, frail, a slave to time, but deeply loved.

After Paul writes to rejoice all the time, he tells how to accomplish that task:

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG)

Father, bring comfort to all those hurting today. Give them strength. Help me to remember I am helpless even though I want to believe I can do this life on my own, in my own strength and skill. Help me to depend on you and trust your love for me. Teach me to number my days.

 

The Mark of Belonging

dog tagsRemember, God is the One who makes you and us strong in Christ.  God made us His chosen people. He put His mark on us to show that we are His, and He put his Spirit in our hearts to be a guarantee for all He has promised.   2 Corinthians 1:21-22(NCV)

After Ozzy’s monthly bath, I say the same thing to him, once his fur has the chance to dry a bit I call him to me and say, “Let’s put your collar on, so you look like you belong to someone.” He comes running and sits in front of me, and as I snap on his collar I say, “There, now you belong to someone!” The tags on Ozzy’s collar not only tell the world he doesn’t have rabies, but it tells the world he’s not a wild dog. He has a family.

I don’t let just any dog into my house. I buy food for only one pooch. There is only one dog that gets to sleep on the bed. I like all kinds of dogs and Ozzy had many canine friends in our neighborhood, but Ozzy has special privileges compared to the others; because he belongs to me.

If you are a child of God, you belong to Him—not in a slave/master type of relationship, but in a Father/child relationship. God is a loving father who wants to pour lavish blessings on you, simply because you are His child.

Ozzy and I don’t have a formal agreement, but somehow Ozzy seems to know he’s getting food, toys, water, a place to stay and some health care should the need arise. He also knows He can come sit on my lap just about any time he wants, if not on my lap at least within arm’s reach.

Do you know what God has promised you as His child? His; joy, mercy, grace, strength to meet the task He’s planned for you, wisdom, eternal life with Him, whatever you need, hope, and when all else seems to be failing, peace.

That’s the short list. This verse says His spirit, dwelling in us, is the deposit, a guarantee, that His promises are true.

Father, I come to You today grateful to be Your child. Thank you for your strength and for choosing me before I knew You. Let me live and act in that love today. That love is the mark Your spirit places in my heart. It’s the love that constrains me to live a life pleasing to You and that causes me to act toward others the way You acted toward me. Thank you for Your eternal promises.

God’s Indoor Voice

whisper“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. 1 Kings 19:11-13 (NLT)

 

I made my entrance into the operating room. I needed to talk with the circulating nurse about her next assignment. It was information that didn’t matter to the other people in the room so I spoke hushed words through my mask, intended only for her ears.

All the usual BEEPs and WHOOSHs which mark the passage of time in the operating room announced, “All is well” with the patient. The surgeon and technicians chatted about the kids, the vacation, and the concert as skilled eyes and trained hands repaired the broken patient.  Without making a sound, I had everyone’s attention.  The chatter stopped as everyone strained to hear what I was saying.

Sometimes, a quiet whisper is louder than a shout.

Elijah bested Jezebel’s priests making a public mockery of them and by extension, her. With injured pride, Jezebel condemned Elijah to death. Elijah fled and in his exhaustion had a woe is me pity-party followed by a nap. God awakened Elijah and gave the command in today’s passage.

Wind, that dislodged rocks, blew across the mountain as Elijah waited—an earthquake and fire rounded out the Old Testament display. After all the powerful, awe-inspiring, earth-shattering displays—God spoke.  God spoke to Elijah in a gentle whisper.

Whispers can be attention-getting.

Have you prayed, worried, struggled, felt alone, prayed some more, worried some more and then lapsed into despair waiting for God to move the earth—waiting for the loud, deep voice of God to shout out a command? Are your spiritual ears waiting to hear the booming voice of God—only to find that God is using His indoor voice to try to get your attention?

The same God that tells His children to bring their praise and requests to Him is the same God that says, “Be still and know that I am God.” and “those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.”

If your answer to prayer hasn’t come, if you feel like you might as well lie down and die, if you feel alone—pause for a minute and be still—wait on the Lord.

Perhaps His answer for you will come in a gentle whisper.

Father, remind me that while bringing my praise and requests to You is important, so is listening. You value stillness–help me to value it, too.  Today, as other distractions vie for my attention, help me to be still and listen for Your gentle whisper.

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Free Lunch

free“Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink—even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free!  Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food.

“Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life…

…Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near.  Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.  Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously. Isaiah 55:1-3a, 6-7

“I can’t go out for lunch, I’m broke.” was my sad reply to my friend’s fun sounding request.   I was in college and money was tight—she was a D.I.N.K. (Double Income—No Kids) money was never a concern for her. Her response was, “I didn’t ask if you had any money, I asked if you wanted to go out for lunch.” She knew my financial situation. She wanted to treat me, to enjoy my company—she made the generous offer knowing the cost of her invitation.

God’s offering you “lunch”

Are you hungry? When you read the passage above, does the gnawing emptiness in your soul begin to make sense? Are you worried that filling that void will cost too much?

God’s call to those who are hungry is “Come.” You don’t need any money—you can’t afford what God has to offer, anyway. When you come to God, you can quit trying to fill the emptiness with cheap food that doesn’t satisfy. You can stop trying to quench your thirst with drinks that leave you thirstier then when you began drinking.

God wants to buy your lunch—spiritually speaking.

God knows you can’t fill your own emptiness. If you’re tired of trying, His call is come and I’ll satisfy you. God knew the cost buying your lunch—it cost Him His Son—but He was willing to pay the price.

What will you get when you come to God? If you read on in Isaiah 55 you’ll find that God’s lunch probably won’t be what you expect—but it is great and filling. God may take you to a lunch you didn’t anticipate—maybe one you didn’t desire—that’s His prerogative. One thing is sure; if you accept His offer, you’ll find refreshment, joy and restoration.

Father, Thank You for the offer. Help me trust Your choices for me as the One who knows what’s best, who loves me beyond what I can describe, and Who is always working for my good. Teach me the value of Your good food. Help me abandon my attempts to meet my own needs with things that will never satisfy. Thank You for “lunch”!

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